From IIWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
The United States of Desperauex
Etats Unis du Desperauex
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Flag Emblem
Motto: For Freedom and For State
Anthem: "The Battle Cry of Freedom"
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
CapitalDesperauex City
Largest St. Martin
Official languages French
Recognised national languages English
Recognised regional languages Baltani
Demonym Desperauexite
Government Republic
 -  President John Bullock
 -  King Abbadeus II
Legislature National Legislature of Desperauex
 -  Kingdom 1215 
 -  Communist State 1918 
 -  Republic 1929 
 -  Fascist State 1930 
 -  Communist State 1977 
 -  Socialist Democracy 2000 
 -  55,353,635 km2
21,372,158 sq mi
 -  2010 census 294,938,545
GDP (PPP) estimate
 -  Total £23,339,807,011,438.50
 -  Per capita £ 25,619.99
Currency Desperauex Pound ()
Time zone Eastern Britain
Drives on the right
Calling code 83
Internet TLD .des

Desperauex is a sovereign state on the east coast of Britain.


It is the year 1215. A young man of royalty, Jean Pierre de Desperauex, a man of ENGLISH royalty, has just been kicked out of London. He owns a vast amount of land in the eastern part of England. He also has over 2,300 soldiers at his command (the Militratiduene, as he liked to call it. Today, it is the Militrat) In the summer of that same year, the land that Desperauex owned, seceded from England. In the fall, English knights poured into The Kingdom of Desperauex, as it was then named. In the first battles, the Desperauexites were beaten. Then, on a cold winters day in 1227, after 12 years in combat, the Battle of Carleveux City and It's Mills commenced. In the beginning of the battle, the Desperauexites were again, getting the crap beaten out of them. This all began to change, when only 30 reinforcements came. These reinforcements were trebuchets. The mounds of ice and rock hurled at the British, causing massive casualties. Legend has it, that of the 4,000 Anglo troops that attacked Desperauex, only 186 returned home. Peace came in 1228, and England granted Desperauex it's independence. Under the kind rule of Jean Pierre I, Desperauex became a wealthy, functioning nation. His nation was one of the first to have a people's election. This body was known as the sénat, or Senate. Over the course of the 70 years Jean Pierre I ruled, the cities of New Paix, A'li Salient, St Martin, New Normandy (De Gaulle) all sprung up. however in 1297, Jean Pierre died at the age of 100. His son, John I, was also very generous. In January 1309, Desperauex was put into another war, but this time with France. Over 12,000 French troops entered Desperauex. But, due to the diligence of the Militratiduene, we pushed back the French troops by June 1309. We actually managed to take over the city of Geteu (We gave it back as a gift in 2003). After that war, until the late 1700s, Desperauex remained a peaceful state.

In the year 1798, England, once again, invaded Desperauex. They lost in about four weeks, but they came back in 1799. For two long brutal, bloody, years, Desperauex surrendered. On June 9th, 1801 in the Desperauex Capitol Building, the Militratiduene, under the command of Grand General Phillip Jackson Marriot, surrendered to the Redcoats. Although the British won, they lost around 26,000 of their welly, trained, equipped, and fed men, while Desperauex lost 7,362 of it's redneck soldiers. For the next 117 years, England ruled over the county of Desperauex, but in 1918, Desperauex became free.

In 1918, Russia became a Marxist state. In that same year, John Fredrick Foote, rose to power as governor of Desperauex. Foote was a known communist, and communist ideals in Desperauex were popular. On July 19th, 1918, Desperauex seceded once again from England. Over 100,000 determined Desperauexite men women and children, picked up arms to fight for freedom. After two key victories (The Battle of New Paix, and the Siege of Desperauex City) Vladimir Lenin authorized the supplying of 25,000 Russo troops to Desperauex. In fear of starting war with Russia, before the Russo troops even arrived, England surrendered. On January 15th, 1919, The Communist States of Desperauex (or, later in this text, CSD) was born. The Senate was reborn along with the sovereignty of Desperauex. On January 16th, Foote was named Premier of the CSD. Unlike Russia, in the CSD's early days, life was great. The Court of Desperauex was told in the CSD's constitution that "It was to oust any greedy or un-Marxist Government official". It was basically illegal to be greedy or corrupt. Also, the Premier was denied the right to abolish that law (or any law for that matter). In the 1920s, Americans visiting Desperauex said that it was better there than it was in America. This all changed in 1929.

In that year the Desperauexite Stock Market (DSM) failed. Also, in December of that year, John Fredrick Foote died of a heart attack. His successor, John Pemberley, basically drove Desperauex to hell. He was a fan of Stalin, and he basically killed anyone he didn't like. His Stalinist acts, brought the Court of Desperauex to oust him, but Pemberley's supporters declared Civil War. Now, it was between the Court and the Commies. On April 14th, 1934, the first shots were fired on the island of Salient. Within two bloody years, the Court won, and ousted Permberley from power. One of Pemberley's supporters, 22 year old, John Brooke, would form the Workers Party of Desperauex, and (spoiler alert) would take over Desperauex in 1977. Pemberley was tried for war crimes, and was condemned on August 2nd, 1937. He was sentenced to hang, and the sentence was carried out on December 25th. What a Christmas gift.

In 1936, fascists took over Desperauex. The new dictator's name was (get this) Johann von Schleissenhocke. Schleissenhocke was a young Prussian who was a great artist, and a great speech writer. He often noted Hitler and Mussolini as "disgraceful d*ckbags with no f*cking idea what they're doing." Way to be tasteful Mr. Schleissenhocke. Anyway, in 1941, Desperauex declared war on Germany, Italy, and Germany (due to the trade with England and the US, and his hatred of Nazis). By 1945, Desperauex won (and got two blocks in Berlin for their sector) but they were dead broke. By 1946, another civil war erupted, and the Second Republic of Desperauex was formed.

In the Republic's time, not much happened. The only major thing was the two year war with Norway (which we won), but that's pretty much it.

In 1976, John Brooke, the 69 (haha) year old leader of the Workers Party, took over the Desperauex in a quick, rather bloodless, civil war. On April 14th, 1977, Desperauex, once again, became Communist.

Like in the First Communist state, the early days of Brooke's regime weren't bad. The same court was made, and the same constitution was passed. One law was added: "If the law-offending Premier does not leave his position in 24 hours, he may be killed, or excursiated by force.". Brooke was a real humanitarian, and had no problem with that rule. When he died in 1980, his son, Daniel Brooke, WAS a problem. He took a buttload of money out of the treasury for personal uses, and made unliked people "disappear". In 1982, he was tried by the Court, but was acquitted. In 1987, he launched a man into space, then two months later, he tested a hydrogen bomb. The UN (or the WA), never saying the CSD could do this, unanimously declared the CSD internationally unlawful. On March 30, 1988, the Court found Brooke guilty, and on April 1, after not leaving office, was found shot dead in the Premier's Palace (or today known as the Presidential Palace). After 18 days of not knowing what in the heck to do with their government, the Court established the Democratic Republic of Desperauex (DRD). On April 19th, John Telleau Johnson (the father of our Previous president) became premier with a 88% vote. No one thought it was rigged. Johnson was just extremely popular. Over the course of the next ten years, things went nicely for Desperauex. The economy was terrific. Nobody complained about rights. There were no wars, until 1999. By that point, Johnson became a bit insane with power. In that year, his son Jean Telleau Johnson, the leader of the Court, tried his father. Johnson Sr. was found guilty, but he didn't leave. He started a civil war. This civil war became (basically) a crap, with the DRD getting it's butt kicked all over the country. Finally, after seven government changes, the United States of Desperauex was founded on May 1st (Liberation Day), 1999. And for 12 years in a row, civil war hero, Jean Telleau Johnson, became the President of Desperauex. This all changed when Liberal candidate Jack von Stratt, a politician from Bayside, Salient, kicked the crapstockings out of Johnson with 75% of the vote. In today's time (2013) gay rights are legal and the voting age is now 18. Since the times of Jean Pierre de Desperauex, Desperauex has changed quite a bit.


Desperauex's Military, the Militrat, consists of 19,257,000 troops.

Force Active Reserves
Army 10,244,724 3,235,176
Navy 3,350,718 500,682
Air Force 500,682 77,028


Soldiers Marching on National Avenue

The army of Desperauex is known as the National Army. It's member are put through massive amounts of training at camps like Fort Desperauex, Fort Cox, Fort Brai, and Camp Fork. The average soldier in the NA is subjected to two months of training, is sent either to war or some other Fort. The reserves are made to train one weekend a month.


DSS Fargo at St. Martin National Naval Base

Founded in 1256, the Navy is the second largest branch of the Militrat. It's 2,000 ship fleet, covers 24% of the globe. It is often used for bombing locations on the coasts of belligerent nations. The ships are docked in the ports all over Desperauex. In ports such as St. Martin, New Desperauex, and Fort Cox.

Air Force

F-16s running drills.

The Air Force is the smallest, and youngest branch in the military, founded in 1939. It has seven bases around the world. With it's 190,000 planes, most of them are bombers.


Desperauex was made along with the Island of Great Britain. From 113 BC to 10 AD, the Bay of Desperuaex formed when a series of large hurricane-like storms hit the coast of Great Britain. In the late 1000s, rivers began to form. The northwest of Desperauex is mostly mountains, with the Balitani Mountains.

Geography of Desperauex
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The Paix River 
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The Kornixka Lighthouse on the coast of the Desperauex Bay 
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The Coastline, 200 km west of Fort Oxfourd 
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Mount Louisiana, a towering mountain in the Balitanis 
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Mount Hourne, a small mountain 
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Desperauex City 


Desperauex City
Climate chart (explanation)
Average max. and min. temperatures in °F
Precipitation totals in inches

Bay Area

Desperauex is a very diverse nation, with a very diverse climate. The Eastern area, around the Bay of Desperauex has a coastal climate, but with cold winter temperatures. The Jet Stream goes through the Bay Area during March, when the temperatures are at their lowest. During the springtime, most plants grow, and tides are highest. During the summertime, many venture to the Bay's beautiful beaches, and bask in the warm weather.


Salient is an island around 100 miles off the coast of mainland Desperauex.